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    11/14/2009

    カウントダウン

    あと100日で国試!?

    やばいやばい。

    昨夜、
    自分に気合い入れようと『よっしゃぁ!!』と
    誰もおらぬ台所で掛け声した。

    即座に、両親から非難の嵐~!!
    『そんなん言ってたら癖になるで!』
    『何でそんな声ださなぁ、あかんねん!みっともない!やめろ!』...etc
    私の一声で、非難の嵐~
    数分間、隣室の両親二人で続いてた。
    私は沈黙のまま食器洗い~
    >あの~1回声出しただけですよ。
     アンタらは自分の思いを散々 口にしてるやろ!
     アンタらに私の思い 口にしたらダメだしばっかやろ。
     せやから、自己処理してんのに何やねん!!!
     ...とは勿論言えず、、、さらにストレス、疲労↑↑

    とまぁ、
    一人で実習する分、誰に相談するも無く
    施設スタッフの中で、ポツンと一人ご飯を食べ
    黙々と過ごす連日。

    もやもやした気分を
    過食、酒でごまかす~疲労もあり寝てしまう。(寝ても疲れ取れず)
    国試勉強はおろか悪循環(^^;)

    判っちゃいるけど、止められない~

    やばいやばい

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